high on humanity

This post is dedicated to the conversations we (Zen and I) had over the weekend. I love how we could talk about literally everything, how she could be honest with me about her feelings and how I could honestly admit that I don’t feel at all or neglect my feelings in general. I love how we know that we are both super “fake” and laugh on our “fakeness”.

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it was her birthday weekend

We talked about them. About us. About some of our friends who have already had two babies, some who came back to Vietnam after studying abroad, or who are living a completely different life we thought they would live. Life is unpredictable.

We talked about their parents. Our parents. Us being parents. Toxic family relationships. We talked about how we wished our kids (if we ever have babies) to have free spirits and be able to live truly to their souls. That we won’t force our kids to live our wish-it-was-like-that-lives but not their lives, to chase our unfulfilled dreams but not their dreams. And be happy, that’s what important.

 

We talked about there’s only one life to live and the idea of settling down still freaks us out. We belong to everywhere and nowhere. We don’t know how our future goes and it cannot be planned either. We refuse to live the life which could possibly hinder us to see the world.

We talked about being present. How grateful we are, how lucky we are to have such an easy life comparing to others. How we enjoyed dancing all night and walking around the city with strangers at 4 in the morning, watched the sky brightened up and talked about what I don’t remember anymore but it was fun. We told each other about people we’ve encountered. How we appreciate the friendships we’ve made and those rare deep connections we have in life.

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We talked about growing together and growing apart. The distance between two people grows when they individually change in different ways, and in different pace. Some people choose to move forward, some choose to stand still and some choose to turn their heads away from growing. Physical time and distance are after all just excuses we love to use for the distance exists in our minds and our hearts. And it’s important that we keep our eyes and our minds opened for changes, because change is the only constant.

We talked about our messed up world. Ignorance. Discrimination. Homophobic. Uncultured people. Sexualization. Irresponsibility. Good feminism. Bad feminism. Toxic cultures. We wondered why some people would accept things as it is while the power to change themselves and to change the world is in their hands. We wondered why people dwell onto the past and believe that things would be better if decisions were made differently. We don’t believe in good decisions and bad decisions. Who’s the one to judge which is good and which is bad anyways when no one could travel time and see all the what ifs? There’s nothing could be changed but the future.

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We shared books, we shared songs, we sang on the streets in the middle of the night. We talked about how cute we are to be able to have all these kinds of conversations that I don’t normally generate with others. It was a good break from all the small talks I have daily.

Thanks for reading,

-dgna-

the beauty of words

Click.

Open.

Sounds of her pen sliding on a blank page.

Words

are just not words.

Emotions, thoughts, feelings

are words.

Beauty is words,

Joy is words,

pain is words,

sadness melts

into words.

The world melts

into words.

Words kill,

words heal,

words carry their souls

and her soul.

Letter by letter,

line by line.

She pours words down onto a piece of paper

like she was watering a baby tree.

The tree grows,

she grows.

And her soul blooms.